


Loneliness Came and You Were Away

by dls



Series: Post-Infinity War Ficlets [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Miscarriage, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15147989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/pseuds/dls
Summary: Pepper waits, the engagement ring glitters as she cups her hands and presses them against her stomach, and believes Tony is coming home.





	Loneliness Came and You Were Away

**Author's Note:**

> The **miscarriage** tag refers to an original character, not Pepper. 
> 
> Beta-ed by [Arboreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arboreal).
> 
> References/Quotes   
>  Title from "Things We Lost in the Fire" by Bastille.   
>  _Iron Man 3_. _Avengers: Infinity War._

Pepper twists her fingers as she sits in the waiting room, glancing between the television showing the soothing river and the one with the calming waves. A chuckle escapes her pursed lips when she thinks about what the sounds of moving water must be do to a roomful of pregnant women with compressed bladders. 

The woman next to her, the only other patient in this spacious waiting room, sends her a questioning look and shares a small smile when Pepper points up at the screens. "And now I have to pee." She whispers, pushing herself up to stand, her floral-print dress stretching tightly over her round belly. 

"That's what they want." Pepper mouths back, not bothering to hide her grin when one of the nurses approaches the other woman with a small plastic cup and a request for an urine sample.

Her good humor vanishes when her phone beeps, a reminder for a meeting with the Stark Industries board tomorrow. It's a routine check-in that she can handle in her sleep, but her breath catches at the photo of Tony with a slice of pizza in his mouth, marinara sauce smeared on his cheek and a string of cheese in his beard.

Pepper remembers the way his nose crinkled as he complained about her choice for her phone's background.

_"Why, Pep?" He whined in that particular way she finds endearing._

_"You look happy." She brushed a kiss over his lips, squealing when he pressed their cheeks together._

She would give anything to feel the stickiness of the sauce squishing on her skin, to laugh with the man she is marrying in less than a month, to have Tony back.

It has been almost six hours since Tony went off with the wizard through another portal. Pepper tries to focus on the _wizard_  instead of dwelling on the _portal_ and reminds herself that a portal in Central Park isn't the same as a wormhole in the sky. But aliens were in New York again and the last sighting had Iron Man flying off after the space ship. 

Compulsively, she checks her phone and feels the knot in her chest loosen a bit when the ringer switch is on and the volume is at max, despite the kindly worded request to switch off all electronics on the wall. She wouldn't miss his call this time and he better call her when he's on his way home.

Not _if_ , but _when_.

Because Tony defies the odds and sees the impossible as a challenge. Because Tony has a new armor that can reshape itself and withstand extreme heat and freezing cold and even space. Because Tony is going to be a father.

_Last night, I dreamed we had a kid._

Pepper almost told him then and there, about the five positive pregnancy tests she had hidden in the tampon box and the bottle of prenatal vitamins in her desk drawer, but she didn't. Tony has had so few pieces of good news these last two years that she wanted to make the most of it, a reason that doesn't seem nearly as important now. She wanted to do deliver the news with the  _You Know Who My Dad Is_ onesie that is due to arrive later today and the lab results stating unequivocally that she is pregnant.

Contrary to what's shown on medical shows, ultrasound can't pick up an image of the fetus until the fourth week, so a blood test for the HCG, or the pregnancy hormone, is the next best thing. Or so the frazzled medical assistant finally told her after Pepper demanded proof of her pregnancy in her CEO voice.

A couple walks through the door, a pair of fearsome litigation attorneys who charge nearly a thousand dollars per hour. Unsurprising since their practice only caters to the busy and powerful, offering flexible appointment times and utmost discretion. They greet her with a nod when they walk past, which Pepper returns on auto-pilot, her attention on their clasped hands.

_She did this all wrong._

That realization steals her breath.

Tony would want to be here, at the beginning. He would hold her hand and tell her she is being so very brave when he's the one squeamish around needles. He would stock their home with gallons of ice cream and jars of pickles because he is completely and utterly ridiculous and _hers_.

Pepper misses him like her lungs miss oxygen as she inhales shakily.

"More raspberry water?" The receptionist asks.

"Oh, yes, thank-" The woman's reply is cut off by the sound of glass shattering. 

Water drips off of the counter, raspberries rolls on the floor, and the receptionist...is no longer there.

Neither is the husband. His wife gasps uncomprehendingly, dropping to her knees and staring at the pile of ashes next to her.

The woman who went to use the bathroom stumbles out into the waiting room with hands curled around her now flat stomach. Tears stream down her face and a horrible wail spills out of her mouth with trails of lifeless gray and vivid red peeking out under her hemline. 

Screams bounce off of the walls and filter in through the window but Pepper hears none of it, her heartbeat thudding in her ears, too fast and too loud for her to be able to process anything other than _something is wrong._

Fear spikes in her chest like pieces of shrapnel and every pulse bleeds her from the inside. 

 _Where is Tony?_ _WhereisTonyw_ _hereisTonyw_ _hereisTonywhereis-_

Happy bursts through the door, grabs her elbow, and pulls her behind him.

The suddenness shocks her out of her stupor and she does her best to keep up with his hurried steps.

"People are turning to ash." He grunts out as they run down the hallway, past mounds of dusts that used to be people as specks of black dance in the air. "I'm going to get you back home."

Pepper swallows down the lump in her throat, unsure if it's a scream or a sob and unwilling to find out.

*

Tower is empty and doesn't feel like home but she tries to settle in anyway, if only to stop Happy's constant fretting and FRIDAY's endless questions. The plain white box, containing the customized onesie, sits innocently on the kitchen counter and Pepper resolutely doesn't look at it as she pokes through the freezer for something easy to heat up for dinner.

A flash of red catches her attention and Pepper reaches for the box before she even knows what it holds but frozen pizza seems like a good choice. She slides it out from under the bags of coffee beans, closes the freezer door, and flips it over to check the oven setting and cook time, hearing Tony's voice teasing her for reading the instructions when _it's impossible to screw up pizza_ all the while. 

"Good choice." Happy comments from his spot on the couch, spinning the television remote on the coffee table. They stopped checking the news, the few stations still broadcasting were filled with panicked ranting. FRIDAY is handling and controlling the information flow, with a promise to alert them of any real information. 

Pepper hums in agreement as she rips open the cardboard box. "Yeah, it's Tony's favorite." 

*

She drifts off to sleep with the unopened package tucked against her and dreams of Tony. 

Tony landing on the balcony with the face plate up and a big smile. 

Tony laughing at the _You Know Who My Dad Is_ onesie and ordering more in different sizes and colors.

Tony holding her hand at the ultrasound appointment with his other hand covering his mouth to prevent any inappropriate jokes about the exam table and the stirrups escaping. 

_Last night, I dreamed we had a kid._

Pepper wakes with a smile on her face and hope in her heart, because if Tony's dream came true then perhaps hers will too. 

**Author's Note:**

> [dls-ao3.tumblr.com](https://dls-ao3.tumblr.com/)


End file.
